Yeah it’s time to talk to the man himself. (Please read my FAQ before you waste my time.)

Contact me:

So here’s the deal…

I like getting emails. I try to respond to most of them. If you have a business inquiry about me, my consulting services, my podcast, etc — you should probably include “business inquiry” somewhere in your title.

If you’re a musician, there is a 99.9% chance I’m not interested in working with you.

Because of my employment, I have to be limited about who I can work with as secondary employment. So please understand that it’s not you… it’s me.

If you fuck around and say some stupid shit in your email, then you’re probably going to get reported to the FBI. Real talk. So don’t be an idiot. (Due to my line of work, I’m what’s called a “mandated reporter” when it comes to issues regarding national security. You don’t have to agree with my political views, but I’d avoid saying stupid things that make me fill out forms about the stupid things you emailed me.)

With that said, all inquiries…


“The more you read, the more you calm down.”

35 years old
United States

Last Login:

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If you decide to contact me (FAQ)

Music Shit

I’m not taking a discount rate because you are a musician or a label. I don’t want a percentage. I don’t want points. I don’t want publishing. I want to be paid in US dollars.

Writing, TV, Film, and Shit

I have an agent, but typically I’m going to speak for myself. So if you contact me, know that my agent will be cc’d.

Tech Shit

I don’t like tech bro culture. Engineering should simply be like any other job, but for some reason tech bros like to swear they’re Gods or something and I find it annoying.

Political Shit

I do political consulting for some folks, but they’re all under an NDA, so don’t ask.

Legal Shit

I’m represented by Dean Schaner here in Texas. If you fuck around, you’re going to get fucked around.

Real Life Shit

I’m a husband and a father. It’s pretty cool.